Being my first baby and having zero experience taking care of a newborn prior – I had no idea what to expect entering motherhood. And as a solopreneur, I had all the flexibility to make my own decisions yet no clear roadmap of what a proper leave should look like – which felt like both a blessing and a curse.
From birth, to leave, to childcare – my game plan going into it was to remain open-minded and flexible. And while I didn’t have a complete vision of what life and business would look like – I did have a few preconceived ideas. Being on the other side of things, I’m here to talk about what I got right and what I got wrong – sharing my top expectations for maternity leave versus what actually happened.
When looking at my 9-5 counterparts, 12 weeks of mat leave is considered relatively standard – which made me think I too should be ready to dive back into work by then.
And talking with other creative mamapreneurs, some mentioned being ready in as little as a couple months – that getting back to work helped them feel more like themselves. But for me, that just wasn’t the case. As the 3 month mark quickly approached, I felt anxious and overwhelmed thinking about picking things up. In some ways, we were still in survival mode.
Our sleep situation proved to be a lot more challenging than I anticipated and we hadn’t settled into a routine just yet. With my husband’s and my choice to initially tag team childcare for the first 9-10 months, the thought of needing to serve others creatively honestly didn’t feel viable while I was sleep deprived and on such an unpredictable schedule. Which led me to extending my leave an additional month, giving us a bit more time for the newborn haze to clear and a rhythm to be established.
My advice when determining the amount of parental leave to take? Take as much time as you are willing and able – and don’t feel guilty for whatever you decide! You need to do what works best for your family and circumstance – your business will still be there when you resurface. If possible, I’d overestimate the time needed – you can always get back to work sooner if you are feeling ready!
I’ve always heard that newborns primarily just sleep, which had me painting a picture in my head that I’d be able to do things like keep the house tidy or even work on passion projects (ambitious I know lol.) And while that is true that newborns do in fact sleep a lot – at least in our case – they were still pretty hands on.
There were so many days where all I did was sit in our rocker with our son in my arms. Between constant feedings, contact naps, and trying to get my own rest while healing, I remember looking back at the end of the day wondering what exactly I accomplished? The answer was I simply held my baby – and that’s okay.
Those early days aren’t the time to have a pristine home or be wildly productive. It’s a time to bond with and take care of your baby. So take things slow and give yourself grace.
While stepping into my role as a new mom has been an immeasurable blessing, that doesn’t mean the early days weren’t tough. Hormones were raging, my body was recovering, the sleep deprivation was real, and a precious new life was relying on me. That combination quickly made it clear I needed to dedicate time to take care of myself – so I could show up as the best mama for my baby.
Making time for things like walks, showers, naps, eating nutrient-rich foods, and getting out of the house for coffee or Target runs helped keep my cup full. They may sound simple, but those little things made a huge difference in my mental and physical well-being.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help – whether that be because you are feeling unhappy and don’t know how to get back to happy, or simply needing regular, every day help. Whatever you need, please make it known, my friend. Your partner, friends and family, or even healthcare providers won’t always know what you need, but I bet they’d want to give it to you if asked. It’s important to make yourself a priority because a happy mama makes a happy baby.
I think as business owners, it can sometimes be difficult to feel like you don’t have complete control, but I’m here to say it’s okay to not have everything figured out.
Those early months of fresh parenthood are so deeply special – full of big emotions, learning curves, and sweet firsts. You can do all the planning in the world, but nothing will prepare you for the amount your heart will expand. And while I’m sure your leave will look as unique as your precious new babe, one thing is for sure: it goes by fast so soak up every moment of this beautiful time.
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Although I am not a mom, yet, there is so much helpful advice for solopreneurs in this authentic and well-written entry. Congrats on your beautiful baby boy and thank you for sharing! I’m excited your back and can’t wait to see more of your stunning work! 🤎